Wanting to Scream

I am frustrated and at my complete wits end with the internship I am doing in designing a website for a client. We have been working on this since August and do you think I have one sentence of content for the site the client HAD to have?!? I could cry. I could scream. I just don't get why people want websites and then it is like suddenly too much work and that's just that. Hello!?! WTF do you think goes into designing and programming the site? Do you really think that writing a few paragraphs for a few pages is hard? You are the one that wanted this site - I would hope you had the content in mind months ago. The worst part is I am trying to stay professional in this matter. I sent the client a time line WEEKS ago. Has anything on that time line been met deadline wise? Heck no, at least not in the client's world. The due date is December 15. I just sent the most friendly, professional email I could muster asking for EVERYTHING by December 13. Why do I have this sickening feeling that I'll be up late late Sunday night putting this all together. I am sure then she'll have a nit pick or two in the design as well. Too bad. My "professional" email included that there will be NO design changes. And that will be absolute.

I love designing sites. I love figuring out the code and putting it together and playing with the CSS to make the page come alive. I've been working on my own professional portfolio one for about two days now and its almost done... content and all...

Smiling at Myself

Funny that the last post on here was about sick people. Lo and behold it is when I am practically on my death bed with an illness that I would finally have time to write for a bit on here. OK. I'm not dying... That was perhaps too harsh. Really though, for how I have felt the last few days, I can't help but relate it to death. Somehow over the wonderful relaxing stress free Thanksgiving holiday at my dad's, I caught some nasty bacterial infection. I have no idea why, but for once, I didn't wait too long to go to a doctor. I knew something wasn't right. Of course, that landed me at home for almost the entire week.

And no, it's not the greatest thing to have almost a week straight off, especially when you can't even go out the front door. I've run my poor husband to the store about four times and made him take me to the clinic that was thick with germs. Seriously people, do not breathe out of your mouth if you are sick! And if you can't breathe any other way, ask for a mask!

After almost an hour in the waiting room, I got to see a doctor and I guess I was too sick to even be in the sequestered sick patient waiting room. After they took the labs they needed (which were also marked STAT), out the door I went. Other than that trip though and the three hours I HAD to work Monday to get my holiday pay, I did keep myself from the world as best as I could. It hasn't been fun at all. Or at all like having time off. I've slept in about 12 hour spurts, waking between sleep sessions for about 4 hours at a time. I actually said to Jason late Tuesday night that I'd much rather be at work - and that is saying a lot if you know how much I "love" my job...

I am smiling at myself for other reasons too - like how staying at home for this long period of time is driving me crazy. I love being at home. It is easily my favorite place to be. Now I can't wait to go out. Too bad the meds I am on are taking their sweet time to work. I am dreaming of the highest calorie dinner out I can think of, complete with dessert, along with seeing my coworkers as they can always make me laugh. While I know it is damn cold out, I look forward to bundling up tomorrow and feeling the harsh North Dakota wind on my face. And the walk to class. Oh, do I miss class! Two weeks left and I have to miss almost all of one. I can't even think about how far behind this put me either. I know I will prevail. And yes, I've tried to do homework on this little hiatus of mine. The brain is too foggy and any amount of time over an hour in front of PC or TV screen makes my eyes and head throb to the point that they may explode.

Yet through it all, I'm smiling at myself. I am taking that as a good sign as I certainly wouldn't have done that 24 hours ago. With two weeks of school remaining before I am once again a "graduate" maybe I'll find some time to actively write on here. I have, as usual, so much I want to rant about - most recently my love and fascination with the Twilight Sage... let's hope this misery leaves me soon.

People Who Are Sick

Should stay home... I know, I go to work as well when I am under the weather, but I don't sit there coughing like I am going to hack up a lung in any instant. This is what I have heard the last two days now at work. Unfortunately, I work at a place that if you aren't on your death bed, you better be at work. They do not care or even acknowledge that people get sick. And when these people are sick, they should stay at home. I admit, I am a germ freak and I don't like people who are sick to be around me. Actually, I prefer they keep their distance. A very long distance. When I get sick, I get really sick. Yeah, some people say that, but really, I do. The last time I had a bacterial form of bronchitis - something that is very rare. So, I admit, I am a bitch when people who are sick come near me. There is no need for it. If you need to expose every one to your germs, well, at least have the courtesy to stay away from people. But no, not Rachel. I could write pages of blogs about this woman, but then she'd get the best of me. Something I always try to stay away from. Really, I tend to avoid her as best as I can. Since I work with her, I try to be as professional with her as I can muster, but some days... I was thinking the other night how sometimes I don't rant on here per the name. I think I just made up for that. Sick people, stay home.

Status Quo

I thought I had a ton of homework to do this weekend, but so far, it doesn’t seem all that bad. Part of me thinks I am almost done. I hope I am not jinxing myself in saying that… It is only Sunday. Technically another day and a half off of class, but lucky me got drawn to work Labor Day at SHP. Another lovely perk of my job. So I have spent the day trying to get as much done in the homework department as possible. I’ve had too many distractions yet I feel I’ve put a good dent in it. Two chapters read. So one blog post to write and a timeline to create. I really wanted to get some PSDs done for Jani’s site though. It’s tough out here. I am spending the day in Oxbow while Jason golfs with his family. I’m sitting poolside with the kids and other s who chose to golf so the noise level and distractions are quite high. So here I sit blogging. It is my out for a lot of stuff when I feel the need to be doing something but have no idea what to do or where to start on what I need to do. Oh, and the sunlight beating down intensely doesn’t make a good design environment either. At times, I can barely find where the cursor is on the screen. Maybe I’ll find some shade ina bit. I haven’t decided. As one of the last days of summer, I am loving the ability to soak up the rays, books, laptop and all. After all, tomorrow I’ll be chained to a desk answering phones. I haven’t checked the weather in a few days. Maybe it will storm and be not so nice tomorrow so it’s not so bad being inside.

I didn’t bring my swimsuit to this outing. Part of me is regretting that. The cool blue water of the pool gets more and more tempting as the temperature rises. I could dangle my feet in the kiddie pool, but I think that would only add to the idea of jumping into the cool waves. Two more hours to stare at it. Two more hours to finish my homework. I would love a nap.

I have to admit, I never thought I’d be sitting at a country club pool for Labor day. Or any day for that matter. I can’t imagine this life. I am usually notjudgemental, but come on, these people are loaded and it’s a status thing to be here. Or at least a member here. I’m here, but it’s certainly not by status. And I don’t think I’d want it to be. I admit. I want a nice big house that is newer, but not because it will move me up the food chain so to speak. I am thankful for this time with Jason’s family. This setting though just isn’t me. And I wish I would have more time with my husband. With school now, we will hardly see each other as it is. Yet the only thing worse than where I am sitting would be chasing a little white ball around the greens. I’ll have to settle for my day of watching rich people.

Oddities

It's weird how I'll be somewhere, like driving home, and think of something I want to write about, yet I sit down, and POOF! it's gone. For starters, I have to say I am bummed about not being at the Bison game. I had class until 6:15 tonight and didn't think there would be enough time to get to the game as Jason would have had to meet me somewhere and all that. Yeah, could have made it easily as class ended shortly after 6. Of course, traffic on campus was a nightmare.

Jason and I take a picture every day as part of our Project 365 we undertook together about six months ago. I think I take really good pictures and have even been complimented many times, but with all the stuff I have going on from day to day and working in WAAAYYY south Fargo where there is basically nothing cool to take a picture of, I struggle with subjects each day. So today I thought it would be cool to have my picture of the day of the happenings before the first Bison FB game of the year. Yep, I wasn't thinking at all and got myself stuck in traffic for about 20 minutes. But I got a picture of some tailgaters, so it was worth it.

But I still can't remember what it was I had to rant about. My rants have been pretty mellow. If only I could log on and write them as soon as they strike me. So, that's how this post got its title. How odd it is of when things strike us. Like I am pretty sure I could have a whole novel written if I could write it in my sleep. I always think of the most incredible thoughts as I drift off to sleep. Or I'll wake up at 3 am and have about four pages in my head, but it's 3 am. You really think I am going to get up and write them down? Maybe I have to start considering it... For now, it's off to the books. I am a nerd. I study the first week of classes. I don't want to be three weeks behind in two. Plus, I am listening to the Bison game so that has to count for something.

Class, Day Two

Well, on day two of classes. I decided not to go to the funeral for RJ's dad. I've been thinking of them all morning, trying to send positive energy. Des told me to get my butt to class and that they are good with lots of people around. I felt confident in not going then as I knew that is what she was more content with.

Class was good last night. I am worried it is going to bore me to tears, but I will try to make the best of it. Not too many people seem to know really what is even going on. I figured it would be a sluff class, but not that bad!!! Today I have what I think will be my tough class, along with my internship of course. I need to start working up some ideas for Jani on that this week. I wanted to do it where she could do her own additions and what not afterwards, but it needs to be all coded in php then - a language I don't know. I am still contemplating on how to proceed, but I am least want to get her some ideas of what the site itself can look like. I'm exicted to start, just don't know where.

I managed to pick up my office area this morning. I used it as scrap book central over the summer and now with the scrap book done, figured it needed to be put back in order. Scrap booking is a way messy, not really for me either. I might do one for our own wedding down the road. We shall see. My main focus now is school though so away all that went. I also listed a few more books on half.com that I forgot about that I think will do well. I've done pretty good selling what I have as is and am happy just to have sold what I have. I hope to finish cleaning upstairs - garbage out already so that's positive. Just the bathroom left and pick up our bedroom. I want the house as clean as possible before I get so caught up in school that I don't even have time to sleep. I don't know if this semester will be like that. I just keep feeling that this will be a cakewalk. I hope I am not totally wrong and it's crazy...

The Nerd in Me

As the first day of my last semester of school (will it be the last one ever?), I am pretty excited. I'll admit to being a nerd and say I am glad to be back at it. Yet, the summer did pass very quickly. I hope I can enjoy the last few weeks of nice weather even with school. Part of me thinks my schedule is a lot lighter this semester than the two past, but one never knows. I'm concerned with the one class already - will it bore me to tears? I am staying positive and saying there is always something to learn. Thankfully this semester I do not have any really long classes, one being 50 mins, the other 75. Then of course my internship. I feel like I have three jobs but will focus on the two I love now. Hopefully I can let work go.

No word back yet on my interview. Am trying to stay positive there too. Part of me doesn't want to get my hopes too high yet part of me knows I am a perfect fit for that position. They will realize that and call me back. I wrote a thank you note on Saturday, so with them seeing that first thing Monday morning, perhaps I set a good thought in motion for the week.

My thoughts remain with Des and RJ today too. Tonight is the visitation and tomorrow the funeral. As of last night, I figured it best to not go to the funeral with school I know Des wants me to focus on school. Her family will be going too so that made me feel better about staying home. If it weren't the first week of actual classes and the first time of the class tomorrow, I would have no hesitationi and be going. I know they both understand.

Oddly, I am having a really good day. It was nice to sleep in this morning (off from work as I worked the weekend, took tomorrow off as well) and did a weigh in as I have been slacking on that in skipping last week. I'll admit, I was worried I had gained after our anniversary outing. The Wii Fit certainly says I have gained, which I am not understanding. My scale today read that I am down 2.5 pounds - yea! My goal was to lose 20 by the time school started, but I am 18 so I'll gladly take that. Of course, I asked my husband out for lunch today last night, but I can eat healthy. Plus, I only ate a banana for breakfast so there were some calories saved. Now, if I can just get myself through a crazy work/school schedule through December and eat healthy at the same time...

I Hate Interviews

As my husband almost immediately picked up as one of my quirks, I speak my mind for the most part. I've gotten better at thinking and then thinking again before saying something, but somethings slip by. I had my interview today at 2. I felt really confident and the two interviewees made me pretty comfortable. They were both easy going and easy to talk to. Yet, I struggled with a few questions. I went into it thinking, I don't have to have the perfect answer, I just need to be myself. However, I always leave those things feeling like I didn't say enough or I should have elaborated on a question more or that i didn't include a very important part of a question. Always those darn what ifs. Then I had to take a "test" - I should have expected this and I should have brushed up on stuff, but I didn't. I could kick myself. I felt positive when they did ask about my school schedule, but they hadn't see that test yet. I guess its good practice if nothing else...

On a really sad note, Des called me this morning to tell me RJ's dad was killed in a car accident this morning. I just can't believe it. I am numb. And I hate being so far away from them and not able to at least be there. I know they understand. Just really frustrated about it all. I am hoping I can make the funeral but am not sure with school. We will see based on what info I get from Des on everything. For now, I can only keep them in my thoughts.

On Cloud 9!

The company I want to work for had a perfect position open up this week, and while it will be a long shot with school, I decided to apply for it and go for it! I've been waiting all week for a call back, granted, they only received my info Tuesday. Of course, today I'd forget my phone. I came home for lunch to grab it (as I needed socks anyways) but nothing. What a bummer... so I logged on to email right when I got home tonight as I am doing a photo shoot tonight for a friend's daughter's senior pics (exciting!). I wanted to see if she responded to what time I should come over. And there it sat - an email from the company saying they'd love the opportunity to interview me!!! I called immediately, and I am usually the person who prefers emails. The lady sounds awesome and set me up with an interview for tomorrow. I am so excited!!! I admit, I hate interviewing and I have a bunch of what if's going through my head, but I am so happy. Now I need to go figure out what to wear!

Wonderful Weekend!

I think I have started two drafts for posts on here, but I'm not in a mood to finish either. I'm actually in lazy mode as Jason and I returned from a weekend in the Twin Cities. While we went for an anniversary weekend and to take in a Twins game, I also got to meet my godson, Jackson! OMG, what a good baby. He is so cute already and loves to cuddle. Des and RJ got themselves a cutie! We drove down to the Cities Thursday, leaving Fargo around 1 as we both worked until noon. We stopped in Albertville for a few hours of shopping as I am slowly trying to update my wardrobe into more career looking clothes. I figure I can get away with buying tops right now as I know (hope) I'll need a smaller pant size(s) by January. After that, and being on a good schedule time wise, I managed to get us lost in downtown St. Paul. Funny thing was, we found an awesome little stop that looked over the Mississippi and skyline of St. Paul, and it was right at sunset. So we got a bunch of good pics as well as one of us in front of the skyline that a man offered to take for us. I told Jason I had it planned that way all along. LOL. We got back on track and managed to find our hotel. We splurged a bit and went with a jacuzzi suite, so after an anniversary supper at Applebee's, we ended the evening nicely with a rexlaxing soak in the jacuzzi.

Friday morning we dined on waffles and then headed to pick up Des and Jackson to take Des to her appointment as she can't drive yet. We got there a bit early so I could get a head start on hogging Jackson. After Des's appointment, we dined at The Olive Garden and then took Des and Jackson back home to get in their nap. Jason and I headed to the zoo as I had won free tickets at a MeritCare Fitness night. After the zoo, we battled Minneapolis rush hour traffic (not smart on our part) and headed back to Des and RJ's place for supper. RJ grilled up some excellent chicken, and we capped off the evening with a game of Mexican Train. Well, we didn't finish it, thanks to me being clutzy as usual and losing a domino into the cracks of the patio... It was a great night though and so nice to spend the evening together. Jason and I drove back to our hotel and I somehow ended up with a horrible migraine, which I woke up to eight hours later. Thankfully we didn't have to check out of the hotel until 12.

After checkout, we headed into the Cities for the Twins game, but had three hours to kill. We decided on lunch at The Hard Rock Cafe and then stopped at a few stores on Nicolette Mall. Thankfully I left my migraine at one of the stores for a few hours to enjoy the Twins game. And what a game it was! Jason taught me how to keep score, and the game got really exciting in the 6th inning when the Mariners tied it all up. Unfortunately, some idiot spilled pop all over me in the 7th, so we had to change seats, but I survived. The Twins pulled it out and won 7-6. After the game we got ourselves out of downtown (relatively quickly and easily, why I do better downtown is beyond me) and had supper in Clearwater. It was such a good weekend! So nice to get away, even if it was only for a few days. I still don't want to go back to work tomorrow... or step on my Wii Fit for a workout tonight.

I'm a Godmommy!

Last night as we were heading to bed, the phone rang. It was RJ letting us know that Desiree, my best friend, was in labor! Another call came in at about 6 this morning, and finally, at 8:17 am, Jackson Robert made his entrance into the world! For those of you who may not know, Des and RJ have asked me to be the little one's godmother, and I am honored to do so. Next Thursday we will be venturing down to the Cities to meet the little man, and I am sure a few photos will make it onto our site. A huge congrats to the new parents and welcome Jackson!

Getting Fit

Usually I don't play into the hype of something, especially if it comes to fitness and losing weight. The only true way to accomplish that hard feat is to work hard doing it. There are no magic pills or machines or anything else. The true magic lies in a low calorie diet and working out, plain and simple. And while it doesn't tout itself exactly as being a miracle for weight loss, there is plenty of hype surrounding the Wii Fit. And while it took almost two months, I finally got to "buy" into it last Friday.

I had had a terrible week at work and will admit that I was napping when my phone rang close to 7 pm Friday night. But a few moments later, I awoke to my husband's voice. I didn't want to get up, and I told him so. Then the magic words were spoken. Alycia, one of our good friends, had called both of our phones and left a voice mail. Five Wii Fits were sitting at Best Buy. It may same strange that someone would call us to tell us this, but it so happens Alycia lucked out several days after the Wii Fit was launched in the US and was able to purchase one. When she did, there were actually two on the shelf, but she didn't think anything of it, and only left Target with the one. I have been teasing her ever since, and just a few days before the Friday night call, she told me she promised to call if she ever saw one again.

She did offer to buy it for us, but it was a Friday night so we just headed to Best Buy for it. Well, two actually. These are a hot commodity, going for at least $160 on Ebay. When we arrived at Best Buy, there were only three left. We settled on purchasing two, Jason worried the entire time they would tell us we could buy only one. There were no questions asked though at the checkout, and a few hours later, we arrived home with our Wii Fit. One being ours, the other one we had already sold.

As for the hype and will it get me fit? Well, I've worked out every day since Friday night, logging about an hour each evening. My muscles ache, which says a lot as I have been working out religiously for over two months, and when I finish a workout, I am tired. Sweat runs down my face, and my heart rate is definitely raised. And after four workouts, well, I am down two pounds. I think that fact speaks for itself.

Frustration

I couldn't bring myself to blog yesterday as I had another week of 0 pounds gone on the scale. It was pretty heartbreaking, especially since I feel I am being really good with watching calories and working out. So, after the 0 pounds down, I decided to get out a pair of jeans that had gotten too tight to wear. YEA! They fit again. I wore them out to lunch with Jani. And while I wanted to just go overboard on the lunch, I was good and ordered a salad, dressing on the side. It was a pretty small salad and the most fattening thing I think was the dressing, but I used only an ounce.

The talk with Jani was great as always. I am going to build her website for a program she wants to launch. I am excited as I am pretty sure I can use it for my capstone class for my Web Design classes. She is going to work up a sketch for me of what she has in mind and then I'll work up so different design looks in PS. I am excited to have this opportunity, and I think I'll really get into the site as she will be doing all the writing and deciding of what will be on it while I get to focus on the design elements. We're planning to get together again next week to go over some preliminary ideas.

Today was a terribly long day and part of me didn't know at one point of the day to scream or cry. First, I started the day off getting notified that I was drawn to work Labor Day. A full eight hours, so not impressed with that. I know it will be the last holiday I have to ever work in my life so I am trying to focus on that to get me through. Then a bunch of orders were messed up in the Internet error batch I work each day, so I had to through all my energy into fixing that. After I admittedly hung up on a rep over an issue that shouldn't have even been an issue, I have one last bomb dropped on me for the day - they are pushing our new website upgrade early tomorrow morning, 1 am. We got exactly 10 hours of notice. I was so frustrated and hurt and angry that they think so little of us to tell us at the last moment. I know its a team effort, but we are the backbone of getting everything to come together and it is so upsetting for them to not take note of that. So I had knots in my stomach the rest of the day... the last time they did one of these "upgrades" we ended up simply deleting 1000s of emails as we couldn't provide the tech support needed. Nor did we know what was needed. I am dreading tomorrow.

So, I came home tonight in a rotten mood and migraine number four of the week. DH was a sweetheart though and said we should go out to eat. I was all for going out and ordering the biggest plate of greasy fatty guilty food there is, but he suggested we go to Applebee's and that I keep it healthy. So I did and ordered off the WW menu, 350 calorie meal. Then I got him to spoil me just a tish more and we went to DQ, just a small hot fudge sundae though. I looked it up and its only about 250 calories, so I feel I did good for the day, ending up around 1700 calories with a special treat. And my migraine went away too. I feel a little better, but hoping for some sleep tonight. Last night was nothing but tossing and turning. Must have been a foreshadow of the day I had coming to me.

Power of Facebook

I had a wonderful chat with a very good friend who I had lost touch with for many years (which yes, was stupid). Amazingly, it happened through that craze called Facebook. I haven't decided if I am a Facebook fan yet. I just spent the last hour and a half going through about a 100 requests from various friends, half of which I am guessing didn't work as I didn't give the system time to load. But, I am down to 25. That's all the matters.

Facebook though - like I said, the ability to be able to connect with someone like I did tonight was awesome. Denise and I spend about a half hour just catching up - she lives in California now, so it was late for me and she needed to get home as well, but still having that moment to chat... Anyways, typically Facebook drives me nuts. I know its just all the rave and people are on it all the time, but I just can't get into it. Or may its that I can't keep up with it. I don't have time. I guess if it weren't blocked at work, I could probably get on track better, but yeah, no go there. When I come home, I simply don't want to waste time online. I am online a lot, but I feel I am online constructively, not just surfing. Not that there is anything wrong with surfing. I am all for it when you need to pass time. I guess after sitting in front of a PC all day troubleshooting what I feel is pretty standard issues for people online, I don't want to spend more time doing that.

I think I am tired and need to go to bed right now... seems like I am going on about nothing. LOL, oh yeah, this is my place to rant and I guess I am doing just that. Now though, sleep is calling my name. I think all those Facebook requests pooped me out.

Random Blatherings

I am trying to blog more and while I should be getting ready for bed, DH is playing Wii so I figured I'd take a few moments and blog. He claims the Wii was neglected as we had one of those with a "glitch" in it so had to send it into Nintendo for repair. Now there is something I could blog about, but watch for the letter I write Nintendo coming soon. I'll be sure to post. Needless to mention, I am not happy about that whole situation.

I managed to put in all eight hours at work today. It was slow, but I took some scrap booking pictures in to crop and also had a book to read. I am re-reading Marilyn Manson's book as it has been about eight years since I first read it. After working on my own literacy site last spring for a web design class, I realized in trying to reflect on books, how I couldn't remember a lot! I needed to read a synopsis of it or the back cover as a refresher. I am not sure why I picked Manson's book to read (over) first. Probably my continuing obsession with him.

I realized today in a month, I'll be a full fledged college student again - call me a nerd, but THANK GOODNESS! Don't get me wrong, I have loved the free time and summer and not really having to worry about anything, but I miss school. It's really making me think about continuing on with my education. NDSU doesn't currently offer a PhD program for English and I know that if I wanted to pursue that road, I'd have to some how talk DH into moving someday. Not a feat I want to take on right now. Like I told Des the other day, I'll see if when I have a job in which I love and am appreciated, hopefully things will be better and I'll be content in not furthering my education. I have plenty of time either way. Going back to school as an "older" student has taught me you are never too old or not young enough anymore to do something. And honestly, I've loved being the older than average student. I am sure the youngsters don't like me much, but that's ok. Maybe I keep at least one of them on track a little better in trying to keep up. Can you tell I really do want to be back in class? I know, in two months I'll be dragging butt and be tired and wonder what I was thinking. LOL, not regretting it though.

Boy, for not having much on my mind as I sat down to blog, I've certainly come up with a lot of rambling... I miss writing. I know that. I need to work on writing more. For now though, I need to work on getting some sleep - "Friday" for me tomorrow. YEA!

Another Weekend Almost Done

One of the best parts of a new job will have to be not having to work weekends. Sure, I know sometimes I'll bring work home with me or even perhaps go in on a Saturday or Sunday to catch up on something, but the simple fact that none of that will be required will be great. I don't mind weekends at SHP. It's just for the most part they are long and usually I am tired. No one really ever gets into a mode of working a weekend and stays out late or up late or just doesn't head to bed at a reasonable hour. Usually I stick out the hours at work, no matter how bored I am, but I just couldn't today. I left two hours early, but when there are two emails an hour to answer, it's just too much. I am hoping by leaving early today, there will be plenty work tomorrow for the entire day. I might take along a few scrap book pages to help pass the time. It's a lot to take to work though... so we'll see.

With that though, I realized as DH and I were out getting groceries that if things go as planned, I will only have to work five more of those dreaded weekends!!! I've had a countdown going at work since February, each day I get to tear a link off a chain. No one really knows what it signifies as I usually say it's a countdown for a cruise. Only my most trusted friends know the truth. And technically I am not really lying as DH and I are going on a cruise. You just need to add another 365 links or so to that chain. LOL. For those reading this who may be as confused as heck, I am graduating this December from NDSU for the second time and am hoping that degree fast tracks me to a better job. One in which my talents are appreciated... and properly compensated for. For now, I'm half way through the sixth weekend. Eight hours and counting. Woohoo!

Slacking

While I certainly have been slacking in the blogging department, I've totally been rocking in the diet world!!! Last week I lost 6.5 pounds in a week! I don't know if it was a fluke or if finally after six weeks, my workouts finally paid off. I really am thinking it was the later and felt good about it. It's awesome to lose that much after weeks of dieting and exercise! I didn't lose any this week, but I expected that. And was ok with it. I kept up with the exercise and wow, are my legs looking good! I can see and feel the muscles, and that is just a good feeling.

Last Sunday my hubby and I took a bus trip to the Twin Cities for a Twins game, and while I will admit to cheating a tad with ice cream (really, I didn't know they'd give me what looked like a pint), I managed to stay on track during the trip by simply taking along healthy snacks. I packed a container of fruits, crackers, and a snack bar. When we stopped at a bakery like truck stop on the way home, the fruit did the trick and I was able to not order that huge caramel roll. I will admit, I do want to go back and try it. Just not on a day where I've already treated myself to an ice cream splurge.

Another big difference I've noticed in myself is ENERGY! Wow. It feels good. Even on days I am tired, something makes me come alive to go workout. It's a really really great feeling. It has been hot here so working out is the last thing a person wants to do, but I got out my ski machine and bust butt on that. Some nights the 30 minutes just flies! I miss walking outside though, but I must be happy with the warm weather. Winter comes much too fast here to complain about it.

Our Summer Vacation

A few months ago Jason and I decided we weren’t going to take any spectacular vacations this summer due to the price of gas and the months it took to pay off last year’s Vegas outing. However, after visiting my old stomping grounds over Memorial Day, we decided perhaps we should explore North Dakota. We’ve already undertaken much of the western part of the state during our honeymoon and 1st wedding anniversary, so we choose to trek through the southeastern part over the long holiday weekend. To help make it budget friendly, Jason and I choose to camp for our excursion. We love to camp, but we just don’t ever plan it into our trips.

So Thursday we packed up the Jeep and headed out for the weekend. Our first stop was the Maple River Winery in Casselton. We’re lifetime “members” of the winery and decided this would be a good place to stock up for a few beverages. We tasted about five wines, bought a few bottles and headed south to the Sheyenne River Valley national scenic byway that starts in Lisbon, ND. Of course we made the mistake in both assuming that a byway would be paved. Well folks, only in North Dakota would it be solid gravel… though this was much to the liking of our Jeep. It really hasn’t been “off-roading” and got broken in over this trip. After several photo op stops, Jason and I arrived in Fort Ransom and checked in to our campsite at Fort Ransom State Park. We set up camp and went into Fort Ransom to check out some of the attractions, all of which took about a half hour of our time. We then dined at a local color restaurant that due to the holiday weekend, had a menu of five items. Little did we know it would be one of our better meals of the trip. Really though, the food was good and the atmosphere certainly pleasing. We finished the day by hiking a bit on a trail in the park and then roasting marshmallows over a campfire… that had taken us nearly an hour to get lit. Note to self, lighter fluid is a must pack for camping trips.

That first night on our air mattress was like being on the Titanic went it sunk, but we survived and arose the next morning to continue on our journey. The Jeep got to do some serious off roading to see the Standing Rock State Historic Site, basically a site marker in the middle of nowhere, and after many more miles of gravel, we arrived in Valley City. After driving around for hours looking for a campsite (who would have thought in North Dakota that the sites would be booked solid), we finally set up camp outside of Valley City. Lunchtime had arrived, and I was in serious need of coffee. We easily found The Broken Spoke, a cozy little diner in downtown and enjoyed a pleasant meal. The company wasn’t as pleasant as two little old ladies next to us complained about the price of their meals and how much food one got while the other didn’t. We were somewhat glad to leave. After hunting down some lighter fluid, Jason and I started in on the sites of Valley City. While we thought a busy day was ahead of us, we completed the tour of VC attractions in just several hours, including a 6.5 mile bridge tour on foot (really, it wasn’t 6.5 miles as the brochure touted). Still, we had worked up an appetite and since the campsite we ended up with didn’t have any place for a campfire, we figured we better grab a bite. Luckily along the way we had come across a brochure, Eats and Sleeps in Valley City. After driving around town to the seven different restaurants listed, we arrived back at The Broken Spoke. While the company had improved this visit, the food certainly had not. Well, mine was decent but Jason opted to try the sirloin steak. He could have dined on an old piece of shoe leather and not have noticed much difference. The day’s events ended with a drive out to Baldhill Dam and Dairy Queen, a much needed stop for Jason’s stomach. After several stops around town for ice, including a liquor store, it was determined this city has a shortage of ice on the 4th of July. All in all, the city came up short in many areas.

A good night’s rest changed our outlook though, and we were off to Jamestown. This town had ice, a huge improvement already. Our first stop was the National Buffalo Museum. We were lucky enough to see both White Cloud and her little one Dakota Miracle. A little ways up the path is the Frontier Village and many gift shops. Lunchtime had arrived so we were off to Grizzlies. While the restaurant didn’t appear busy at all, there was a 15 minute wait upon our arrival. We were seated right away and decided to wait using the time to cool down and relax a bit. Over an hour later, it was myself who ended up with the bad lunch and left a bit on the hungry side. We continued on to Wal-Mart as we have been in search for a Wii Fit since it came out last month. They didn’t have one, so our next stop was K-Mart. You just never know where one might be. We didn’t end up with a Wii Fit, but we found a clearance bin in which a few Wii games were $10 each (marked as $20, but only $10 when we checked out!). From here, we decided to head out to the Jamestown Reservoir and set up camp. Jamestown was celebrating their 125th year and we figured the rest of the day would be filled with events. How disappointed we were. Our first stop was the Ft. Seward Interpretive Center. Jason is convinced though that we missed something here as this stop was again pretty non-existent. But, we didn’t want to miss out on the events downtown and choose to go there instead of trying to find exactly where this interpretive center was. So, it was off to the Street Fair. We arrived around three to one block that they considered a street fair. Some of the vendors had even left already or started to tear down their spots! The fair was to last until 7, but it didn’t appear as if it was even going to make it until 5. To not waste the trip completely, I had to make a coffee stop at Babb’s Coffee Shop.

Luckily, our campsite for the night had much to occupy us. We changed into our swimming gear, but then found out we’re both a little wimpy as the water wasn’t exactly warm. Or clear for that matter. They had paddle boats for rent, so we hooked ourselves up with one for an hour. While we ended up bailing out water thanks to an overzealous boater, the outing was a lot of fun. We headed back to camp to start a fire and have supper, this time the fire only taking about 15 minutes to light, not with any help from the lighter fluid either. We dined over hot dogs, one of the finer meals of the trip, enjoyed our fire and then another night on the Titanic.

Sunday morning brought us more excitement in the world of dining as we stopped at Perkin’s to enjoy breakfast before our drive around the countryside that day. The table across from us was quite entertaining as the gentleman was convinced his water had salt in it and a lady at the table was complaining about the size of the plate her breakfast was served upon. Needless to say, they weren’t pleased by the price of a cup of coffee either. It certainly was good humor for our day.

We continued on to another byway of North Dakota, this one appropriately named a backway as once again, we drove on gravel much of the way. We drove through the ghost town of Merricoat, which made for a lot of great photos as well as our own personal tour guide, the one resident of the town that stopped and gave us a tour. We were then to Whitestone Hill Battlefield. During our route home, we planned a stop at Rutland, home of the World’s Largest Hamburger. Much to Jason’s dismay, the hamburger is no longer there. All that remains is the framework of what used to hold the sign announcing this achievement of the town. I had to hear about it the rest of the way home… well, only until about Hankinson. It was then I dozed off after a 556 mile jaunt around the south central part of the great state of North Dakota.

30 Days and Counting

It's strange how since I have been doing really well with the diet and walking, I've not logged on to here much. I do log on religiously to track what I eat and exercise, but I just haven't felt a need to vent out about it all. I realized this morning that I think I use this more as a tool when I am struggling, but maybe that's not a wise choice. So, I am going to try to commit to just jotting down some things every day. This past Monday marked my 30th day of diet and exercise, and I am proud to say I worked out every single day of those 30 days. I also feel I did exceptional on the diet as well, having only one bad day, but even that was only 2100 calories. And it was my treat for making it a week. In the last four weeks I have been sitting at about 1700 calories a day, which is right on track for me to meet my goal weight by by goal date.

I have been trying not to concentrate too much on the weight, though having a new scale has made it a bit better to weigh in, lol. Strange, I know. But now I get an actual number instead of this daily thing that fluctuates and that I can barely see. What stunk though is the two scales were off so even though I have been losing each week, roughly 1.5 pounds, I haven't been able to update my weight on Prevention as I am still just a little bit above what I had entered per a weigh in on the scale from the ancient times. But this week I know I will be able to!

My goal this week is two pounds. That would put me at 10 total since I started, which means time for a pedicure! For making 30 days of exercise, I celebrated with a new pair of shoes for walking. I spent a little more than I wanted, but they are pretty comfy and are suppose to help with the shin splints. For making 30 days on the diet, I got my hair done along with the eyebrows, so it was a fun evening Thursday. Total treat day! Figure we need those to help stay on track. I don't have anything planned for after I make the pedi... maybe I'll just continue pedis until winter. Hehe.

The food entourage continues at work. It was homemade buns and rhubarb jam this past Wednesday followed up by a chocolate chip pie Thursday... I actually stayed away easily from both.

I think another big accomplishment for me was having eaten out twice in the last two weeks. One night it was a turkey burger, salad instead of fries with the dressing (a vinaigrette) on the side! Last night was a salad, and though it ended up having more calories that I imagined, I feel it was still the better choice. I had plenty calories to burn yesterday anyways. So, all in all, I think I am making some serious progress and permanent changes again. YEA!

Next week though we are going camping for the 4th... I think I will have a major test on my hands in sticking with everything. DH said he planned lots of walking on most of the days, so I decided I will wear a pedometer on vacation. Each day I don't make 10000 steps, I have to walk around the campground until I do. I am still working on what some food choices could be for me. I am so excited though to be going on a mini vacation.

Rummaging Vultures

Jason and I seem to have a list of all the things we want to try or do in our lives, like shopping on Black Friday. This weekend we decided to undertake another one of those events and had a garage sale. Back in May, we participated in Fargo’s Spring Clean Up Week and went through every room in our house. Based on how fast our “treasures” disappeared from our boulevard, we should have been prepared for the chaos that would be upon us when we opened our garage door Friday morning. Perhaps our first mistake was opening it before we were completely ready and before our opening time of 9 am. It was 8:30 when the door did open and within 30 seconds, there wasn’t even standing room in our two stall garage. By 9, our scheduled opening time, almost half of our goods were purchased. Thank goodness our niece Katie was up for helping us Friday morning. Without her, I know Jason and I would have likely lost our minds. She was a huge help!

What blew us away is we had been hearing negativity from many of our acquaintances about how garage sales are a lot of work for nothing. Even though when we asked to borrow tables from relatives, they had no problems giving us their stuff to sell as well. By 10 am, we had a couple hundred dollars made. By 4 pm Friday, our garage, once filled with items stacked on tables as well as below tables, looked pathetically empty, though we didn’t have to wait long for the reinforcements. After Renee had made over $75 of dumping off her stuff, she and her husband returned with two more boxes. At least it ensured us merchandise for our second day of the sale. Otherwise, we would have looked like peddlers.

And yes, I’ll admit, it’s 9 am on a Saturday, and we’ve only made about $5; however, we did get rid of two old car batteries that have been sitting in our garage since we practically moved into our home. I’d say I am all for garage sales and am very happy with our profits. Oh, and I even ended up with a job after the whole experience. A really good paying one at that. Perhaps this Friday I’ll become a rummaging vulture myself. I certainly have money to spend.

The Office... AGAIN!

Another work day, another "treat" day. Really, does anyone else constantly get bombarded with people bringing food to work? I will admit, it wasn't as bad as the cheesecake the other day, but it came in a close second... homemade buns with fresh strawberry rhubarb jam. Thankfully, they stayed away from the cube across from me and went elsewhere. Perhaps my protest on mini cheesecake day sunk in? I'm not banking on it.

To make matters worse, our entire system was down at work today, so I couldn't even really work. I had a training document to finish up, but not being very busy makes the stomach grumbling even more audible. I survived though, but only until 3 pm. I decided to call it a day at that hour. I had felt like I had watched paint dry long enough. What is the first thing I worry about though walking out of work? It being 3 pm and me going home to where I have food. I only allow myself to take a small cooler to work each day that contains only what I can eat that day. I do not bring any money for those evil vending machines. But, I did ok. And I took a nap. I know, I should have went walking or done something with the extra time, but I have still felt really tired. Plus I walked on my lunch for 25 minutes and my first 15 minute break, so I felt I deserved to be a little lax after the work day. Lo and behold, I am wide awake now at 11 pm... Let's hope for a more filled day tomorrow - though it is Friday, how can one not look forward to that?

Hanging in There

I thought I was doing super fabulous, even marking the 14th straight day of walking yesterday, and then I stepped on the dreaded scale this morning. I know any loss is a good loss, and I know too that 1-2 pounds is good, but I seriously worked my tail off and behaved so well this week, the 1.5 loss that registered this morning was heartbreaking. I don't even know if it really was 1.5. I need to update the scale. I am still using the old fashioned dial one that I bought years ago just for decor... don't ask. I know too that I had my hopes up too high. I figured I could pull another 3-4 pound loss this week like last, and I know that was the first week so that's why it was big, but still. Frustrating.

I did have a treat night Saturday night for accomplishing week one of fitness and diet, but I only consumed 2100 calories for the day, and walked almost four miles that morning!!! And honestly, the fried cheesecake and ribs really weren't worth it (I was at a Ribfest). I felt awful afterwards and eating normal food would have been just as good. No more treats that are food. Unless they fall within calorie restrictions.

I am trying to stay positive. I had my second fitness night last night, and that was good. I have just been really tired lately. I am working on setting a more defined bedtime to make sure I get 7-8 hours of sleep, but I am just wore out. I take a nap almost every nigh after my walk/work.

I had to battle a birthday treat at work today too. Cheesecake. Those little minature kind... I asked the girl who brought them to NOT put them across from my cube where the food spread usually goes. I didn't give in and have any either, so another day survived in the office. I just hate how we celebrate everything around here. Someone's hangnail healed, someone would have to bring in something to celebrate...

Big Loss!

I stepped on the scale this morning to find myself down 3.5 pounds! It was a really good feeling. I know its probably a big number though since it was the first week I was behaving, but I know too my hard work has paid off.

Strangely, my mood didn't stay high from the loss this morning. I've been tired today, not up to doing much. I did go to the doctor per the DH for these hives I've been experiencing. He put me on Allegra, so we shall see. If things don't improve or they come back after three weeks, he suggested an allergist. Fun! I had a horrible time getting the prescription filled. The pharm tech I had was very unpleasant. My doctor had warned me that insurance may not pay it, but he included for hives on the prescription. I don't think this made any difference to the pharm tech and she wouldn't even try. They claim they are going to mail me some paper work I can send in to try to get reimbursed. I also went in seach of another pair of shoes for walking, but after not finding a pair I had to have, I decided to wait on those. Other than that, it was a pretty mellow day off.

I had no energy to go walking today, and it again was pouring rain. I do love the rain, its just not fun to walk in. After DH came home, decided I should try to walk. I got my 30 minutes in, but at a pretty moderate pace. I walked though and that's what matters. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a little more energy. Right now, time to end the day cuddled up on the couch with a movie.

Feeling Fabulous

Yea! I have now completed a full week of walking and dieting and stayed on track every day! I have done this before, however, I have never walked or worked out or whatever have you for a straight seven days. I know a lot of stuff out there says to have a day of rest, but I am going to keep plugging away at this and use those days when I really really need them.

I will admit, I did not want to go to the first night of Fitness Night tonight. I was tired from working all weekend and just wanted to veg out in front of the TV. But I went! And I worked my butt off during the walk. Shins are still pretty sore. Started using Tiger Balm last so hoping that will help during this break in period. One of the trainers that helps with the Fitness Night also suggested having two pairs of shoes to rotate if you plan on walking 6-7 days a week, so I will have to look into that. Money is a bit tight as we're saving to pay for my tuition this fall, so I am not sure I can justify a 2nd pair of shoes.

The diet has been going really, really well. I had my third day in a row now in focusing on protein. I've always known this was a key, but its tough when your diet is based on calories. Don't know many foods that are high in protein, low calorie. So far the eggs are doing nicely and chicken and tuna will probably become good friends too. LOL. I need to do more research on the protein factor and what foods I can stock up on.

My only challenge for the day was of course the office again. There was a birthday in the department so of course someone has to bring something ladened in calories... ice cream cake. Then another office mate started carrying on about making upside down pinapple cake and asked me if I would help her eat it if she brought it in! Mind you, this is the same one from the Chinese episode last week and is fully aware that I am shooting for a healthy lifestyle again. She claims she is going to do the same, but so far her breakfasts and lunches are still following fast food suit, today BK for breakfast, Arby's for lunch... I will prevail.

Week One Almost Done!!!

I can't believe I am on day six already with the "diet" and don't feel all that deprived. Yesterday was actually a steller day as I did a really good job getting in lots of protein, which helped me stay full and satisfied all day! I am trying new things slowly to get away from the same old foods and to see what foods help me stay fuller longer. The past two days, I've done two eggs for breakfast (along with a carb of course, I just can't give up carbs). I know too that my body is probably adjusting to less calories being taken in and not so mad at me anymore. LOL.

I've stayed on track with exercise too, walking each day this week (my week started Tuesday, not good to start a diet on a Monday) except for Friday. I cleaned our house though Friday which I found burns a lot of calories, so I felt that was my workout for the day. I am excited as our local hospital is doing another fitness event this summer, which meets every Monday night for a 3 mile walk. Last year I didn't do so well with it, but the person I went with just wasn't motivating for me and I admit, I gave up. It was hard when the "friend" I went with would show up reeking of alcohol... I feel going it alone I will do better and stay more positive. And maybe even meet someone who is as movtiviated as me so we can accomplish goals together. Tomorrow night is the first meeting. Looking forward to that.

My only worry right now is probably one many people have, and that is the ability to stay on track. I don't know why I doubt myself. I have done this before and I know if I stick with it, every day will get better. I need to get myself back to the point where its ok to have ONE splurge every now and then. Speaking of which, my first "treat" for making 10 days is to participate in our city's Ribfest, which starts Wednesday. I don't plan on going overboard, but it will be a nice change to go out for a meal. And I know it already, the deep fried cheesecake will be sampled. Its the one time a year I can get it! We don't plan on going until Saturday, so that will make day 12 of the diet, but soon enough I think for a treat. After a month of behaving, I will be getting a pedi! Little goals, one step at a time. Hanging in there feels really good today.

The Office

I started in again on my lifestyle change this past Tuesday. For any of you not familiar with that, its called a diet for most. I don't like the word diet and I don't want to be on one the rest of my life. So instead, I change my lifestyle.

The first day was rough, but by last night, I was feeling pretty good about things. I was enjoying ice cream at 9 pm, only a half a cup and only because I hadn't consumed enough calories for the day. It was a good feeling. And then I came to work today.

I work in a department of almost all women, and yes, as I woman, I will easily admit, this isn't the best of office situations. There is constant talk about eating, recipes, etc. One particular lady brings in food at least once a week that she made at home - a new recipe that she tried. Another bunch order out almost every Friday. And then there are two individuals that not only stop at a drive thru for breakfast but will also hit another for lunch. And I am in no way stretching the truth. For one, I have no idea how they afford it. One paycheck a month has to go to the food budget.

I know, they have every right to order out or get food on break, but today it was tough. I wanted the Chinese they had delivered SOOOO bad. So instead, I heated up my Lean Cuisine and went for a walk on my lunch break. Its just hard being in an office where not many are really concerned about what passes through their mouths. I am strong though, and the walk did make me forget about the fried rice... at least for the time being.

The Puddle

About a week or so ago, I noticed a small puddle forming in our garage under my Jeep Liberty. Of course, spring is upon us in North Dakota, and I figured this puddle had simply formed from the melting of the snow and the Jeep bringing it into the garage. Shortly after discovering the puddle that wouldn’t dry, I decided to play it smart and check all my fluid levels under the hood. All checked out fine so once again, the puddle was put out of mind too.

Last evening, with Jason and his brother in Iowa for an TNA event, I decided to get a few errands done. While I was out and about, I heard a “clunk,” but since I was right behind a truck that looked like it could possibly use a tune-up, I wrote it off as coming from that. I finished my errands and headed home for the evening.

Of course, this is my weekend to work so I left the house around 7:30 this morning. Backing out of the garage, the puddle looked as if it had nearly tripled overnight. The liquid pooling on the garage floor looked practically clear so on my way I went. Weekends of work are my time for a coffee stop. The Fleet Farm convenience store also has the best caramel rolls. I stopped to pick up my monthly splurge and pulled out of the lot. As I pulled out, a cloud of dust or smoke, I wasn’t sure, plumed up around me. I pulled over to the side and the cloud seemed to disappear, so I thought it had just been dust from turning out of the lot.

I arrived at work, and as I took the Jeep out of gear, there was that cloud again. This time though, it kept circling. I realized then there was no way the wind was strong enough to be blowing that much dust around the parking lot. I turned off the ignition and got out to see steam pouring out of the grill of the Jeep. It was time to pop the hood and see what exactly was happening. A light amber colored liquid had sprayed everywhere.

Around 9:30, I used my morning break to call my dad. My guess is he was thinking I had gotten myself into yet another car accident. I explained what was going on, and one of the first things he tells me is to taste the fluid. I think he is crazy, but I do it. It’s sweet. I tell him it’s sweet. He tells me it’s the coolant. Great.

Next call, the service/dealership in which we had bought the Jeep from about 18 months ago. Much to my surprise, the manager tells me to bring it right on in and they’d look at it. I estimate that it will take me about 20-25 minutes to get there. I’ve never had a vehicle spraying coolant all over – how would I know? I follow my dad’s instructions and head off to fill the overflow tank with water so I can get where I need to go. Easy right? Not really when you are at work. The only think I could think of for water is a coffee pot. I make three trips before the level in that tank is full to the COLD mark. Oh, and did I mention that of course my gas gauge says E? Off to the gas station I go.

Jason meets me at the gas station, and he decides to follow me to the dealership. About ¾ of the way there, my battery light comes on. My temperature gauge is my main focus so I try to ignore it. Three blocks away, and I get stuck behind a Buick. If anyone has ever driven behind a Buick, you’ll know the speed usually doesn’t exceed 10 mph on city streets. Finally, it turns, and I am able to pull into dealership, steam flowing all around me. Its then my husband tells me that I have been “smoking” for at least two miles. Honestly, I am glad I didn’t know that.

So, why am I blogging about the puddle? Well, first, if you have a puddle, and it grows, don’t ignore it. Second, I love my Jeep and the service that comes with it. The puddle had been growing thanks to a bad seal on the water pump, which likely finally gave out when I heard that clunk last night. The pump needed to be replaced completely, and of course, a coolant flush and fill followed. The bill? Simply $100 for the deductible thanks to the generous power train warranty Jeep has. It totally made my day. And to top it off, the Jeep returned home on the same day as the calm of a winter storm is upon us.

Where has Crystal been?

I have been trying to get a post on here for several months... explaining just what it is I have been up to as I returned to NDSU last fall. Well, I still don't have time to share it all, but this weekend I completed a project as I recovered from bronchitis.

I decided to post this project as I feel it best highlights what it is I have been doing as it rolls it all into one. As some of you may remember, I self published my poems for my English Capstone project all those years back. Here, I give it to you again, in a shortened version but electronically!

A big thank you to my husband for all his help and support as well as our friend Jason Kuntz for borrowing us his voice for the audio. Enjoy!